concerning the way I post on this wee blog. I think I may just continuously update a single post throughout the day. That way, I won’t have one large post to make at the end of the day. I will include the time of the update and follow with the post.
So, it is 12:36 at the moment, and I CAN NOT get motivation. I have been laying here in bed, just wishing I could crawl into a shell and hide for the next month. I managed to get up for 10 minutes to weigh myself, smoke, have a handful of lettuce, and make a mocha. I am pissed that my binge weight from two days ago isn’t coming off. So, I am even more cranky than when I woke up. I do not want to move at all today, that means I can’t consume as many calories as I would like to. Not that I particularly feel like eating anyway.
My sister’s poor puppy is being neutered today. Poor little buddy. I want my walking partner back. When he and I go for walks, I always end up in a good mood. It’s not just the exercise endorphin boost that I like. I feel as if life is good, like I can stop searching for happiness because I’ve found it in the simplicity of being free and yet not alone. Oliver come back to me!!!!
Maybe I am just cranky today because I still don’t have hot water and I need to go borrow a shower. I was fine without one yesterday (I don’t sweat) but, I need one today. It’s cold out and I don’t want to leave. Wahhh, boo, hiss. Crying baby up in here, that’s me.
Now, I am just rambling so that I don’t have to do anything productive. I ferreal need to get up off this ass and do something, anything.
Me before I get put together-
One Hour later-
What a difference an hour can make. But, my damned hair won’t cooperate. Probably because it’s kind of dirty, as usual. I’m off to make another mocha, this will bring my total up to 3 mochas for the day. I feel kind of like the Sesame Street Count now. I’ve had 1 yogurt! 2 Salads! 3 Mochas! and that’s the truth.
I cleaned the bathroom with a toothbrush. Two loads of laundry. Cooked, ate, and cleaned up after dinner. Cuddled with poor neutered puppy.
I am 25. I am witty and charming. I am attractive. I have no where to be tomorrow. and I am sitting behind my laptop, doing nothing, trying to come up with an excuse to tell my mom so that I can leave the house to smoke a cig.
Wow, I really need this semester to be over so that I can quit being so dramatic. There really is nothing stopping me from going out and having a good time.